By Marcia Hall
Imagine you are at a dinner party with your spouse. You are talking with some friends you have not seen for a while and you are having a great time catching up with them. Suddenly your spouse walks over to you and says, “It’s time to go, get your stuff, I’m going to the car.” What would your reaction be? It would most likely not be a positive one.
This is a lot like what we expect out of children every day. Whether it is a trip to the park or time spent at home, children become engrossed in their play time. Their imaginations are constantly running. For us to break that flow of creativity to tell them it’s time to go somewhere they have no choice in or control over is a lot like your spouse telling you to leave a party you are enjoying.
Children, like most adults, need to be given some warning of what is to come. They may not completely understand what “5 more minutes” feels like, but giving them some warning that the time to end the “game” is coming can make that disappointment a bit more manageable.
If when at the dinner party your spouse was to instead come up to you quietly and say, “I am going to be ready to leave in 5 minutes,” would your reaction be more pleasant? You would be given a chance to finish your conversation and say goodbye.
It is also a good idea to prepare the child for what is to come in the day. Over breakfast, you can say “today we have to go to the bank, get groceries and go to the post office. After that, we can go to the library for story time.” This is a lot like you and your spouse discussion how long you are planning on staying at the dinner party. It gives children a map of the day and lets them see what is coming.
Giving children some choices in the day’s activities can also help make the transition a little easier. If you are running errands, give them the list of what needs to be done and ask them what they want to do first.
Nannies understand the importance of play, so make sure you build plenty of that time into your day. If you spend provide play time at the beginning of the day, children may be more emotionally ready for the busy day ahead.
Children who are overtired and over-stimulated are more likely to fight against transition. Avoid letting a child get to this point. Watch how many things you try to cram into your day. Remember, adults get cranky too when we are tired.